Energized WA GOP Steps-Up Senate Recruitment Effort, Nervous Dems Defiantly Poop Pants

In the wake of the Scott Brown’s stunning Senate win in Massachusetts, Washington State Republicans are dissecting the race to see how they can win in a traditionally blue state.

Senator Patty Murray is up for reelection in 2008, and the party is frantically trying to find someone credible to run. Murray beat a political giant-slayer, Spokane Congressman George Nethercutt, by 12 points in 2004.

“I believe we can learn a lot of things from the Scott Brown model,” said state Republican chair Luke Esser. “In fact, we think we can even improve on that. First, we’re looking to find someone with a more generic Anglo-Saxon name, like John Smith or Jack Baker. Second, we want to find someone who has done full frontal nudity, maybe even hardcore porno.” Esser referred to Brown's partially naked Cosmopolitan Magazine spread which he did in the early 1980's. “We actually put calls into Hustler and Penthouse. I think this is a winning formula.”

The Chairman for the State Democrats, Dwight Pelz, was dismissive of his counterpart’s new strategy. “The only reason why Democrats lost in Massachusetts was because of George W. Bush. Our party is in this situation because of President Bush and his radical right-wing policies.”

A recent Elway poll may give Pelz some relief. According to the poll Murray would beat a generic Republican challenger 93% to 2%, with the remaining 2% being undecided and another 3% voting for the Unicorn Liberation Party.

Despite these numbers Senator Murray, have been reluctant to comment on her race. In an in-person interview, Murray, while staring up at the ceiling blinked her eyes twice, and drooled. An aide said later that her attempts to touch this reporter’s hair meant that “she liked me.”